Is it really that bad to be single in a world where so much focus, attention and status is given to being in a relationship?
Is it not better to be single than in a relationship that makes you unhappy, that hurts more than it helps, just so that you are not alone?
I have disliked the fact that I am single for a while now; especially since I am not 23 anymore. I have this irrational fear that I am getting to be past my sell-by date; that soon no one will want me because I am past my prime. I know it’s ridiculous. But the fear I have is real. I try not to feel overwhelmed by this fear but it does get the better of me sometimes. And then I get sad and depressed.
It’s stupid though. I am actually doing ok on my own. And sometimes I don’t even mind being alone. I have Benson. I have my parents and my sister. I have friends – not many but I do have friends; and I work with some of them which means I get to see them everyday. I can do what I want to do when I want to do it; even if it means sleeping all day or watching CSI reruns.
I do need to get out of these negative ruts I tend to end up in. It is not healthy. I need to go horse riding again; do more park runs; say yes when I am invited out more; and just because people ignore me and don’t reply to my messages doesn’t mean there is something wrong with me; some people are just not worth my time.
I can do this. I can be single and happy. Or least I am going to try really hard to get this right.